In late May legions of emo-metal fans were delighted to the latest morsel dribbled out by rock’s biggest boy band, Linkin Park. The song, titled "New Divide," scored the band their third top-ten hit after debuting at #6.

The song has caused a massive controversy among bored and angry suburban 16-22 year olds. Why? Many claim it sounds exactly like previous hits "Crawling," "Somewhere I Belong," and the group’s contribution to the first Transformers movie, "What I’ve Done."

Text messages flew between teens sitting next to each other in their parents’ half-finished basements upon first hearing the song. One exchange between a pair of soon-to-be college freshman caused a new divide in their friendship. As the song ended one of the youngsters, John, texted "OMG new LP rox!" to his buddy Grant. Grant’s reply? "AYSOS? old Transformers song." It got heated after a few more texts resulting in John typing out "4Q" before storming out of the basement to hide in his pitch-black bedroom.